The Prayer That I Don’t Want Answered

I realized how my focus over the past 24 hours (and beyond) has been trying to find the will of God for my life. While this is an honest pursuit and appears to be a just pursuit, it is a prayer that I don’t want answered. This is why:

I don’t want my prayer answered because of the fact that life is meant to be unknown. To know God’s will for my life would be to know my future failures, which would cause me to be alarmed and face my future with fear and worry. I would also know all of my future joys, which would make them worthless when I finally reached them.

Thus, I’m realizing that asking for God’s will is actually a proud response when facing life’s questions. Instead, we are called to be God’s will.

If you chase after God in the little, mundane things, He will guide you through your future.

Until my next step, I’m just chilling with Jesus. This is all I need to do. :]

❝ In my opinion no one is fit for God’s service until he is willing to be considered mad by the world. They said Paul was mad. I wish we had many more who were bitten with the same kind of madness. ❞
Dwight L. Moody
❝ A revival in which young converts are brought into the church without the church being revived, is like pouring hot water on an iceberg in the Frigid Zone. The water soon congeals and becomes a part of the iceberg. The scriptural way is to float the whole church out into the “gulf stream” of divine love and power, where, under the sunshine of revival grace, it will become so melted that it will assimilate the showers of young converts that seek union with it. ❞
Martin Wells Knapp, 1890
❝ We need not soar above the skies,
Leave suns and stars below;
And seek Thee, with unclouded eyes,
In all that angels know;—
Thy very breath we now inhale,
The pulse in every heart,
Attest with force that cannot fail,
Thou art—O God! Thou art! ❞
Anonymous, The Being of God
❝ Every cold church holds truth enough to make it glow with holy fire if only that truth were ablaze. The great mission of revivals is to set this truth on fire. ❞
Martin Wells Knapp
I’m Blessed.

I just wanted to quick type out some thoughts before I collapse tonight.

While watching a movie with some friends, I realized just how blessed I am in life. I finished another semester of college, just got a job that I’m excited about, have friends around me who genuinely care about me, and a family at home that is growing into something beautiful and united.

I might sound really cheesy right now, but I am blessed. God has been so good to me down through the years. Life has not be perfect, but it’s definitely been worth it.

I went through a lot this spring, but it just feels good coming out with a smile on a face, a song in my heart, and a little bit closer to Jesus. I have no other purpose in life. Everything I do complements my direct calling for eternity - to know the heart of God and to love Him with all that I am.

This is my story. No one will probably ever read a book about my life, but that doesn’t mean that it’s any less worth living. In fact, because my story will never get told, it makes my life that more unique and worthwhile. Most of the world’s heroes and adventures never get retold. They just remain as markers on an unknown, hidden path in the midst of a great wood known as history.

just a quick thought

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently about what I am going to do next after my time at Regent. I am confused in a lot of ways. I don’t understand what I should pursue; I don’t know what I want to pursue.

I love music and the arts. There is something truly enjoyable when I am in a position to worship. I have an identity when I’m actively functioning in Christ. I don’t get have an identity because of my voice, musical talents, or sphere of influence. I get my identity from Christ and who He has established me to be.

However, this causes levels of confusion. I know who I am in Christ, but what am I supposed to do in the world? It sometimes seems like those who pursue something instead of God have a clearer vision of life.

One quote that shed some light on this issue was from Oswald Chambers:

My actual life is given me by God, and I can live in it either as an atheist or as a worshiper.

This means that, no matter what I do, I want to do it out of a heart of worship. Great insight. Makes life easier to handle.